Back from my travials

No doubt you have missed my comments in the newspapers and the tedious ramblings of my blog. Fear not, for I have returned complete with prickly heat and insect bites.
I had the pleasure of flying with Ryanair. This meant that it was a rugby scrum to get to seats, meaning that my fellow Brits were sufficiently ignorant to leave my scared 9 year old boy alone at the front of the plane whilst his mother and I were scattered amongst the other rows. A heady mix of hen parties and stag parties were on board, drinking and shouting on our journey. The stewards threatened to get the police and return them straight home fortunately. Their job is surely a depressing one.
I do not like flying. I find it physically painful and this time was no exception. It takes about 3 days for my ears to ‘pop’ and even now as I type I feel off balance.
Still, the weather was nice, it was overcast and we had thunderstorms but at least it felt warm. By the afternoon the nuclear reactor heat kicked in which was my cue for a siesta.
One of the primary reasons to going to an EU country is to bring back lots of booze which I am pleased to say we succeeded in. Still, the Euro is poor value. I liked it when Spain had pesetas as it was ridiculously cheap, especially given the current economic climate.
The Spanish themselves are a strange bunch. The women are stunning and the men grubby and sexist…of course I am generalising here I did see many grubby Spanish women too. As for Brits, as usual I felt ashamed to be one. Walking among the town it was easy to spot the Germans and the French and the Brits from a mile off. Overweight, with puffy red faces, the Brits marched through the town, dressed as though a hurricane had passed through a novelty shop.
Saying that, when on the plane for the return home. I felt like a failed asylum seeker. I didn’t want to come back home. Back to the stupyfing atmosphere of work, back to the cold and harsh land of England. My cat was glad to see me though, and of course I have my appointment on Wednesday to discuss my balls at length with a complete stranger.

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About lordegburtnobacon
Greetings! I appreciate a fine Tweed and my hobbies include drinking heavily and acting. However I do not mix the two.

2 Responses to Back from my travials

  1. Feisty says:

    reading your post re your hols has really brightened an otherwise dreary Monday morn. Most amusing are the remarks about us Brits abroad, so thank you for making me smile. 🙂

    Hope you settle back in to ol’ Blighty soon. An article in the DT suggests the positive effects of your hols wear off in 14 days. I reckon more like 14 hours, hey ho.

    Hope your chat re your balls goes well…

    ciao

  2. 14 days? 14 minutes would be more like it. On the other hand however, I have decided to start my novel. It’s grim at the moment but has a flight of fancy about it! Thanks for the comment, they are always welcome.

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