Made up!

I have to admit it, but I don’t have the patience to be a transvestite.
I shall explain, yesterday was dress rehearsal for the panto. I spent an absolute age in make-up and ended up looking like a cross dressing wizard.
Normally, stage/TV make-up is a 2 second job. Some powder on the forehead and nose so that the light doesn’t bounce off too harshly. That’s fine. Humiliating, but fine.
The sight of a man putting mascara on is really quite horrific. Whilst sat in the chair, I felt like I was in Clockwork Orange, the part where Alex has his eyes held open whilst being subjected to traumatising film clips.
Then lip-gloss. Why do women do this? It’s deeply unpleasant. It felt like my lips had been glued with boiled down horse hooves. I couldn’t drink a cup of tea without leaving it looking as though a slut had been trying to eat it.
Then there is the experience of taking it off. After using a wipe, I showered my face, then used a hot towel and still I felt like I had make-up on.
The morning was spent with my good lady who instructed me on the art of wearing tights. These pesky items of clothing are fickle and prone to disintegration. It’s also a nightmare when one hears the call of nature. However, I suppose as an aspiring actor I should be glad to finally be in tights!


About lordegburtnobacon
Greetings! I appreciate a fine Tweed and my hobbies include drinking heavily and acting. However I do not mix the two.

2 Responses to Made up!

  1. gregoryno6 says:

    I think the parents would not be too unhappy about a cross dressing wizard. A cross UNdressing wizard would upset them a great deal.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: