Bring back the peacock!


Recently, I decided that I needed a new pair of shoes. This isn’t a particuarly exciting piece of news is it? Ah, but it lead me to note that actually it is nigh on impossible to buy ‘good’ shoes on the modern high street.

Good shoes are made from leather, they last for years and can stand a good polishing so that eventually the sun’s rays will cause sparks to fly when wearing them. I also like shoes that can be repaired. I don’t think that this is so extraordinary, I am not looking to have a pair of Panda skin shoes or stitched with gold linen.

So I set off to find good pair of black Oxfords, ideally with a leather sole.

Firstly, it is worth noting that when entering a shoe shop the staff tend to dress in polo shirts and some god awful thing called ‘cargo’ trousers. This is surely a sign of the forthcoming apocalypse. Also, when I asked to see the Oxfords, they didn’t know what I meant.

They showed me shoes that would be best worn by a Libyan mini-cab driver instead. Why the hell would a grown man wear slip-on’s?

It’s the same with trousers and ties, shirts etc. It is nigh on impossible to buy a ‘drab’ tie these days. Ties tend to be either of the seizure producing variety or ‘comedic’ style. As for a bow-tie, then the only stock they carry are suitable for bouncers.

Try asking for a pair of grey flannel trousers in GAP!

No. Instead we have once again settled for second best. As a nation we have given up with customer service, knowledgeable staff and good quality goods. Even Saville Row has now the ugly face of modern capitalism on it with the opening of an Abercrombie and Finch store on its legendary promenade.

This is why I would like a return to proper men’s clothing stores. Staffed with people like Captain Peacock. Where button-holes are available, the trouser press is an attainable item, cuff-links and cravats shown on display.

Staff that are articulate and clear in their annunciation rather than the unshaven rabble who sound as though they are chewing marbles when they open their filthy mouths.

It is with some sadness that I shall once again buy my shoes on-line. It’s such a vacuum of discourse whereas an oak paneled haberdashery seem the height of civilization.



About lordegburtnobacon
Greetings! I appreciate a fine Tweed and my hobbies include drinking heavily and acting. However I do not mix the two.

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