Theres another one gone

Murdered to Death has ended.

I’ve sent the Colonel off to the tropics for the next few months. Thoroughly enjoyable time in my life, rehearsals went swimmingly and the performances were an absolute hoot. The audiences were raucous and we pretty much sold out the whole run.

I was terribly nervous the day the play started, and more so on the day before. I kept thinking “Well, over 2000 people are going to see this, what if I balls up?”. Needless to say, this sort of negative thinking doesn’t do one much good.

Thing is, once I got to the theatre, stuck on the costume and make-up I was fine. So, hopefully lesson learned from that.

I’ll be back to ranting soon enough, but right now I’m afflicted with hay fever. It doesn’t help I live next door to a meadow. Hmm



Like a strong odour

Like a strong smell that causes embarrassment when guests arrive, I have returned once more.

Haven’t been at the old PC for a while as I was rather busy with caring for our gran. Technically the wife’s grandmother, however she passed away, so time has been taken up with funeral arrangements and such.

I couldn’t really think of anything to write about either, my joie de vivre was a bit lacking.

The play Murdered to Death starts this coming week, which is causing me no end of nerves. Quite why I’m not so sure, I can readily identify with the part of the Colonel. Him being a heavy drinking, tweed wearing chap with an eye for the ladies and terrible trouble with remembering names.

It’s dress rehearsal and publicity photographs today, so it was rather disconcerting to find an enormous spot right on my forehead. Quite why this should occur at my age and neglect to fulfil it’s duty to afflict the face of some nauseating adolescent is beyond me.


It’s the way I tell ’em.

Well, the curtain fell last night for the final performance of Streetcar.

Today I’m rehearsing ‘Murdered to Death’ which is a comedy/farce/whodunnit piece which I have to admit is very funny.

Tennesee Williams wasn’t reknowned for his gags. Indeed, I told two of his jokes in Steetcar which never got a laugh!

Of course the jokes were racist given that the play was set in 1948 and had the N word. So I suppose the audience would have felt uncomfortable laughing. It was either that or my dodgy Louisianna accent!

Streetcar was very well recieved though by the theatre goers which was good to see as the show is on nearby by a so called professional outfit which by all accounts wasn’t a patch on the Wigan theatre version.

Once Murdered to Death is finished I’m taking a break from theatre. I need to spend some time with my family as I’ve been in shows almost constantly from last year.




Well moving house is not my idea of fun. Firstly why do I own so much junk? Secondly why do I now have it my new house?

Today I have been up in the attic packing away stuff from our old house that we never use. Hmm.

Still, it’s been good exercise I suppose. My trousers now keep falling down, maybe that is just the Benny Hill in me coming out though.

In between moving house, unpacking etc I’ve been on stage each evening in A Streetcar Named Desire. My scenes seem to involve a lot of fighting, which unsurprisingly is also exhausting. I think it is worth noting that Tennessee Williams wasn’t much of gag merchant!

Oh well I must dash as the theatre beckons.

Aurevoir Fitzy

Well, Panto finished last night. It’s been tremendous fun to do, arduous at times but so worthwhile. I might be able to pop some video clips on here if I can figure out the technology. Sadly I wasn’t able to stay for the aftershow party for too long, pity really as the cast & directors have been great fun.

My buttocks are relieved however. Getting a swift boot up there each night has taken it’s toll and there have been occasions when it wasn’t only my buttocks that received a blow. Let’s just say I’m glad I’m not planning any more children.  So, the moustache has gone for now, so have the big hats and gratuitous eye-liner.

Today was rehearsal for Streetcar, which I’m also looking forward too. I love the intensity of the play and it’s such a fine cast. Once more I left with bruises but I’m brimming with confidence about the next production.

Panto mad

We are fast approaching the last week of panto. It’s been great fun but I must say it’s knackering!

It’s been 2 weeks so far, playing to lots of screaming children and at times adults. Today should have been my day off but I had Streetcar rehearsal.

I must say that it was vastly different to panto.  Today was intense, fun but a totally different atmosphere. Still, variety is the spice of life isn’t it?

I had an audition last Sunday, which went much better than expected. I got a plum part playing a colonel. This means that the moustache will have to stay now until the end of May.

I’ll update when I have had some rest!

Bad dreams and costume failures.

Sorry I’ve not updated the blog recently. The thing is, I’ve been busy with real things. Never mind, such trivialities as life means that my preferred status as a ‘flight of fancy’ seeker are disrupted at times.

However, panto rehearsals have been long and frankly ill tempered at times, work has been predictably busy too.

The nearer I get to a show, the more anxious I become. This week I’ve had dreams where I’m swearing profusely at a gorilla on stage, despite the audience being made of up children.

Then had dreams where my costume had a hunchback sewn into it.

All perfectly normal prior to the show opening of course.

I remember one dream prior to a show, where the director asked me to include a speech about Richard Nixon half way through. Others have featured mega-stars in the audience who boo loudly!

I’m not overly concerned though. I know that by February this panto will be spot on.

NB Panto runs 6th of Jan till 21st Jan.

No place like home

Feeling much better now and have had quite a successful week all in all. I’ve got a part in ‘A street car named desire’, which comes on in the theatre straight after the pantomime. This means my schedule will be as follows, Monday Friday/Thursday and Sunday evening rehearsals for street-car. Wednesday, Friday and Sunday lunch time will be panto rehearsals. The two productions are worlds apart of course, whilst panto means lots of slap stick humour and me getting my backside kicked and then tickled with a feather duster, Street-car is dark, depressing and violent. I also have to work on a New Orleans accent, I very rarely play a British character so it seems!

Also the schedule looks hard work meaning that I’m not going to be at home much.

My wife understands but as I’m hardly home these days I feel a little like a visitor.

Remember to smile and don’t get too cross

The building below is home to Wigan Little Theatre. A place that is fast becoming a second home/place of work! It’s a marvellous building, and incredible to think that it is a amateur theatre company that owns it. It has a great stage, that is large enough to handle most productions, a superb bar for those after show drinks. The lighting and sound facilities are of a very high standard too. It’s a joy to work in as the whole place has a very professional vibe about it. Given that the other week whilst playing in a less auspicious venue, half the ceiling fell onto the stage and the changing rooms were..erm well small. It’s nothing short of an honour to play there.

However, being part of the company means more than simply getting up on the stage. A myriad of jobs need to be undertaken, which is why tonight, I am going to be the nice man who orientates newcomers to the building and shows people to their seats.

Given my recent bout of illness I will try not to look like ‘Lurch’ from the Adams family, nor be too much like Basil Fawlty. I’ll have to treat it as a performance given my current grumpiness and grey complexion.

A sickly week

Plague has struck my home this week. An epidemic that has impacted on the health of both my son and I. Clearly a disease that affects only men!

My son was taken ill at school, and the fuss pots they are felt unable to manage a child with a mild illness and he was summarily dispatched to the warmth and safety of the home. Strange that he can look so pale in a classroom and yet so full of vitality whilst playing the X-box.

I temporarily lost my voice, and have been suffering from ‘man-flu’ all week. I’m glad that it happened this week and not last week however. Big Jule, spoke like he had a serious condition however so I doubt it would have made a huge difference, but of course the thing with stage acting is that your voice much reach every corner of the theatre without shouting.

Whilst not managing to go to the office, I did manage to get to panto rehearsal. Hmm. I was feeling as rough as anything but there is quite a bit of slap-stick involved, and timing is everything so rehearsals are a must. After being kicked up the backside and slapped on the head for an hour, I actually felt worse!

So, I am suffering for my art!