Me no speaky


Such a strange and mutable thing. I do try to keep my spoken words clear and simple. I attempt to avoid jargon (unless I am deliberately attempting a baffling strategy) and use RP so that I am understood.

For example yesterday I had to speak to people from West and South Africa and a chap from Sri Lanka. Their English was good, but I fear that good English will only get you so far in the mean streets of Wigan. Therefore, yesterday I attempted to teach my chums the fabled language of ‘Wiganese’.

Such phrases are commonplace in Wigan “Izziterzerizziteez?” and “Astbrowtitwithi?”.

To a chap from the former colonies such language is mind-boggling. My efforts to teach them simple greetings such as “artyalreetcok” resulted in much hilarity.

However, the boot was very much on the other foot in the evening. I met the costume department for the upcoming production of Guys N Dolls, whom did speak a dialect of English I struggled to understand such concepts as ‘beige New Yorkers’ and the necessity of a thick dernier.



Behold a scruffy swine.