Through a long and hopeless night

Last night was frankly abysmal. If one could return days of life and demand a refund then this would be one such occasion. Having decided to watch ‘The Elephant Man’ which seems to go on for ever and is utterly bleak I retired to my bed after 1am which considering the fact it was a school night was poor form from me.

However I could not sleep. My wife could sleep however and was show-boating it to some extent. Lying awake I was further disturbed by rapping at the window. It wasn’t an angry American urban black chap but instead my tiny neighbour whom had disturbed 3 villains from an act of robbery. These dullards were attempting to break into my ‘car’. I discovered that my Harris-Tweed jacket had been discarded on the driveway and a tent that I was meant to drop off at a homeless hostel and been similarly abandoned.

At 4 AM I attempted to go back to bed. The dawn was breaking and I had decided to try to sleep in the front room on the settee. Instead a bird was singing away. Of course birds do not sing, they are simply cajoling other birds into fights or telling them to bugger off.

I fell asleep around 5:30 to awake at 6:45 for a hearty day at my current job. Of course today would be a busy day, with huge amounts of people turning up with their bizarre diagnoses and their equally long list of demands.

I returned home fortunate to still be able to drive and collapsed into a deep coma shortly afterwards.