Theres another one gone

Murdered to Death has ended.

I’ve sent the Colonel off to the tropics for the next few months. Thoroughly enjoyable time in my life, rehearsals went swimmingly and the performances were an absolute hoot. The audiences were raucous and we pretty much sold out the whole run.

I was terribly nervous the day the play started, and more so on the day before. I kept thinking “Well, over 2000 people are going to see this, what if I balls up?”. Needless to say, this sort of negative thinking doesn’t do one much good.

Thing is, once I got to the theatre, stuck on the costume and make-up I was fine. So, hopefully lesson learned from that.

I’ll be back to ranting soon enough, but right now I’m afflicted with hay fever. It doesn’t help I live next door to a meadow. Hmm



It’s the way I tell ’em.

Well, the curtain fell last night for the final performance of Streetcar.

Today I’m rehearsing ‘Murdered to Death’ which is a comedy/farce/whodunnit piece which I have to admit is very funny.

Tennesee Williams wasn’t reknowned for his gags. Indeed, I told two of his jokes in Steetcar which never got a laugh!

Of course the jokes were racist given that the play was set in 1948 and had the N word. So I suppose the audience would have felt uncomfortable laughing. It was either that or my dodgy Louisianna accent!

Streetcar was very well recieved though by the theatre goers which was good to see as the show is on nearby by a so called professional outfit which by all accounts wasn’t a patch on the Wigan theatre version.

Once Murdered to Death is finished I’m taking a break from theatre. I need to spend some time with my family as I’ve been in shows almost constantly from last year.



Aurevoir Fitzy

Well, Panto finished last night. It’s been tremendous fun to do, arduous at times but so worthwhile. I might be able to pop some video clips on here if I can figure out the technology. Sadly I wasn’t able to stay for the aftershow party for too long, pity really as the cast & directors have been great fun.

My buttocks are relieved however. Getting a swift boot up there each night has taken it’s toll and there have been occasions when it wasn’t only my buttocks that received a blow. Let’s just say I’m glad I’m not planning any more children.  So, the moustache has gone for now, so have the big hats and gratuitous eye-liner.

Today was rehearsal for Streetcar, which I’m also looking forward too. I love the intensity of the play and it’s such a fine cast. Once more I left with bruises but I’m brimming with confidence about the next production.

Made up!

I have to admit it, but I don’t have the patience to be a transvestite.
I shall explain, yesterday was dress rehearsal for the panto. I spent an absolute age in make-up and ended up looking like a cross dressing wizard.
Normally, stage/TV make-up is a 2 second job. Some powder on the forehead and nose so that the light doesn’t bounce off too harshly. That’s fine. Humiliating, but fine.
The sight of a man putting mascara on is really quite horrific. Whilst sat in the chair, I felt like I was in Clockwork Orange, the part where Alex has his eyes held open whilst being subjected to traumatising film clips.
Then lip-gloss. Why do women do this? It’s deeply unpleasant. It felt like my lips had been glued with boiled down horse hooves. I couldn’t drink a cup of tea without leaving it looking as though a slut had been trying to eat it.
Then there is the experience of taking it off. After using a wipe, I showered my face, then used a hot towel and still I felt like I had make-up on.
The morning was spent with my good lady who instructed me on the art of wearing tights. These pesky items of clothing are fickle and prone to disintegration. It’s also a nightmare when one hears the call of nature. However, I suppose as an aspiring actor I should be glad to finally be in tights!

Remember to smile and don’t get too cross

The building below is home to Wigan Little Theatre. A place that is fast becoming a second home/place of work! It’s a marvellous building, and incredible to think that it is a amateur theatre company that owns it. It has a great stage, that is large enough to handle most productions, a superb bar for those after show drinks. The lighting and sound facilities are of a very high standard too. It’s a joy to work in as the whole place has a very professional vibe about it. Given that the other week whilst playing in a less auspicious venue, half the ceiling fell onto the stage and the changing rooms were..erm well small. It’s nothing short of an honour to play there.

However, being part of the company means more than simply getting up on the stage. A myriad of jobs need to be undertaken, which is why tonight, I am going to be the nice man who orientates newcomers to the building and shows people to their seats.

Given my recent bout of illness I will try not to look like ‘Lurch’ from the Adams family, nor be too much like Basil Fawlty. I’ll have to treat it as a performance given my current grumpiness and grey complexion.

Told you I was in a play!

 Here is a photograph of me in ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s nest’ which I was in earlier this year (April).